Teh Grate Cheezburger Liber... Liburr... Reskyoo!

NOTE: Continuing our ICHC theme, I had a lolstory idea. I basically have the story mapped out, but it takes a while to write in lolspeak, so I'm going to have to publish it in installments. :) I can has copyright, k? Must ask teh purrmishun to republish! Fanku.

Catpurr 1: Big Smoo's Brekkies

Big Smoo started himz Caturday jus rite, bai rollin himz tummeh to teh skai an hasing a nyyyyyyss lawwwwng stretch. Den himz baffd himz faec, liek a gud kitteh, an strolled into himz hyoomins' rum.

Himz hyoomins, Tofu n Cheez, wer still hasing der napz, liek Big Smoo noeded dey wud bees. Himz jumpt up awn teh bed, an wif serpryzin graes fur such a beeg kitteh, gentlee klymbd onto Tofu's tummeh. Big Smoo, a Mayn Koon, wuz so beeg dat hasing himz paws awn Tofu's tummeh put himz faec rite in frunt uv herz.

Nao in pozishun, Big Smoo startid teh purring. He purrd jus a lil bit at frist, den gawt lowdur an lowdur, til awl himz floof wuz vibraytin wif teh purrz. Jus liek Big Smoo, wen Tofu woked ups, she streeeeetchd, den opind her eiz. Herz brown eiz lukked strate into Big Smoo's green eiz. Tofu smyld.

"Big Smoo, you're the best alarm clock ever," her sed, usin bof handz to gifs him a rly gud rub bhine teh eerz. Big Smoo purrded eben lowder in apurrsheyayshun. Den, as Tofu stretchd agen, Big Smoo hopped awnto teh floor, lukkin bak at herz as he strolld ober to teh door.

"We can has brekkies nao?" him asked. "I wud liek a littul bakun, mahself. If ur feelin ups to it."

Tofu slolee gawt outta bed, steppin into herz slippurrz. "OK, ok, I know, it's breakfast time." Her yawned. "Thank god it's Caturday!" her sed, as dey walked toords teh kichin.

"U sed it, bebeh!!" Big Smoo aggreed. "Hae, dis iz a wiuld ideya, but hao bowt sum chzburger ommylets?! U maeks dem so nommy!"

Tofu bendid daon an gabe himz moar skriches. "OK, you big baby, I'm working on it!"

"O SWEET!!! R u sirius?!! Mommeh, ur teh BESTEST!!!!! Dis iz gunna be so grate!" Big Smoo ran ober to himz fud dish. Himz faec fell, tho, wen Tofu pulled owt teh saym owld kibbul. "But... u sed..." But der wuz no mistaykin teh sownd uv teh borin, neerlee-pleh kibbul bein porred into himz bowl.

*sigh* thot Big Smoo. Himz stared at himz mommeh fur anuvver sekund to maek shoor dis wuzn't sum meen joak, den startid eetin. *nom nom nom*

Smoo herd himz daddeh get outta bed an coem into teh kichin. "Man," Cheez sed, "we've got a lot to do if we're gonna have that barbeque tonight."

Big Smoo wuz instantlee alert. 'BBQ? WTF??!!!!' himz thot. 'Dey be grillin?'

"I know," Tofu agreed, "we've got to get all those burgers thawed out, and I need you to go to the store and get more fries and cheese."

'An pikuls!' Big Smoo thot, tryin to send teh sykik brainwaevs to himz mommeh. 'Uuuuu neeeeed pikullllllls.'

"There was something else, too," her frownded. "I just can't remember... oh, I know!"

'Whew!' Big Smoo wuz rleeved.
"We need mustard and ketchup," her sed. Her opinnd teh frijamureratur doar an stayrd insied.

'Dammit!!!' thot Big Smoo.

"Oh, and pickles. And - yeah, probably some BBQ sauce, too," Tofu sed. Cheez leened arownd her to luk in teh frijj.

"Is there anything we actually don't need?" Cheez asked. Tofu smakd himz awn teh arm.

"We've got the burgers, buns, lettuce, all that stuff," her sed.

'No bakun?? Hyoomins has teh stoopy,' thotted Big Smoo.

"No bacon?" asked Cheez. "I'll pick some up."

'Gud Daddeh,' Big Smoo purred.

"K, sounds good. I'll call everyone and see who's coming over," Tofu sed.

'O yesh, an I needs to be puttin teh wurd owt!' thot Big Smoo.